you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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