I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
