I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
