i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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