Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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