Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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