um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's shark week go big or go home
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
