grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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