I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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