Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
