honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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