You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
