help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
