yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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