I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize