I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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