it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
