we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
