the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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