Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
vagina is talking i cant
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
