I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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