I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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