Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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