I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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