the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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