Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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