I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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