thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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