I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
