I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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