I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
