just come out here and I will go home with you...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The air taste purple.
Randomize