I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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