Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am naked and annoyed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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