and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
