I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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