Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
