You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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