I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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