dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
