Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize