whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
