bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
