is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
