Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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