Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
