so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
