That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize