Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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