He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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