would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
