I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
