bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
