dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
