i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
