yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
