We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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