Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
